This FAQ was originally written by Chaoticcylinder, and edited by Jeb CC.
I want to make a list of every gender/sexuality/flag/LGBT+ identity. Where should I start?
Don't. You will not succeed. I guarantee it.
Anyone can create a new identity at any time, and they will do it faster than one can ever hope to write them down. LGBT wikis by their nature will have the most identities described. However, for every page that is added five new identities are spontaneously created. I am Sisyphus and this is my rock.
Why is there not a page for [insert identity here]?
Because one hasn't been made yet. However, anyone is welcome to contribute to the wiki. See the 'Create' panel on the side.
Can I be sapphic/achillean if I'm [insert m-spec identity here]?
Can I be sapphic/achillean if I'm attracted to everyone and..?
Yes. That is the point of sapphic/achillean.
What's it called when I have a preference for [insert gender here]?
Not all preferences need a label. Though, if you feel it's necessary see finic, minic, ninic. One may also consider identifying as a gender-loving-gender term like achillean, sapphic, enbian, etc, as these are non-exclusive and are show that one prioritizes their attraction to a particular gender.
What's it called when I'm attracted to trans individuals?
Nothing. Anyone of any sexuality can be attracted to trans individuals because "trans" is not a gender on it's own. If one is attracted to trans men they are attracted to men. If one is attracted to trans women they are attracted to women. To claim otherwise is transphobic.
What's it called when I'm attracted to non-binary individuals?
It depends. Non-binary individuals aren't a single monolithic group that one can say "Yes, I'm attracted to them" or "No, I'm not attracted to any of them".
I'm attracted to non-binary individuals, can I still identify as gay/lesbian/straight/[insert monosexual identity here]?
Yes, but also it depends.
All orientations include non-binary individuals, but not all orientations include all non-binary individuals. If one is a woman who is attracted to woman aligned/feminine aligned nb individuals, that can be included in lesbian attraction if they wish. If one is also attracted to male aligned/masculine aligned nb individuals, then that probably would not fall under lesbian attraction. If one is attracted to neutral/unaligned nb individuals one may still identify as lesbian but it is up to their digression and how they think that attraction is best described.
I'm not attracted to non-binary individuals, can I still identify as gay/lesbian/straight/[insert monosexual identity here]?
Yes. Just because non-binary individuals can be included in an identity doesn't mean that one, personally, has to be attracted to them.
What is the word for [insert sexuality here] attraction but for romantic/(queer)platonic/aesthetic/alterous/etc. attraction?
[insert prefix here][insert name of attraction here], for example: Bisexual, Biromantic, Biplatonic, Biqueerplatonic, Biaesthetic, Bialterous, Bi[insert name of attraction here] Now replace "bi-" with the sexuality prefix in question.
Can I be [insert sexuality here] but for romantic/(queer)platonic/aesthetic/alterous/etc. attraction?
Yes. All terms have editable prefixes and suffixes.
Can I be [insert ace-spec term here] and [insert other sexuality here] at the same time?
Yes. One can belong to the asexual spectrum but still only hold attraction to certain genders. For example, a demisexual who is only attracted to those they are bonded with may also be homosexual.
Can I be [insert sexual orientation here] and [insert romantic orientation here] at the same time?
Yes. One's sexual attraction has nothing to do with their romantic attraction.
Can I be asexual/ace-spec if I watch porn/masturbate/have a sex drive/enjoy sex?
Yes. Sexual attraction does not equate to libido. Many asexuals may have sex or masturbate, simply because they enjoy the feeling of it. But there are many reasons as to why asexuals take part in sexual activities.
Can I be aromantic/aro-spec if I have/want to have a romantic relationship?
Yes. There are many other reasons as to why one would want to be in a romantic relationship, even if they do not feel romantic attraction.
What's it called when I don't care about my gender?
Am I intersex if...
Unless the second part of that question is "I was born with a chromosomal, hormonal, gonadal, and/or genital, variation that causes my sex to not fall into the traditional classification of male or female" then the answer is no.
Intersex is not a gender identity. It is a physical, sex variation which is present in one's chromosomes, naturally produced hormones, gonads, genitals, or combination of those things, that you are born with. If one is not born with such a variation then they are not intersex.
If one is not intersex, but still desires alternate sex characteristics, or have alternate sex characters (that they were not born with), then they may identify as altersex.
Can I be trans if I don't want to have surgery/go on hormones/wear different clothes/[insert activity here]?
Yes. There are many reasons as to why some transgender individuals may not transition. This can include personal beliefs, preferences in comfort, lack of dysphoria, and many more reasons. It should not be implied that transgenders are all rushing to get a sex change. Many individuals around are transgender and others may not even know it.
Can I be trans if I am [insert non-binary gender here]?
Yes. The common definition of transgender is simply 'a gender that is not your assigned gender at birth'. This includes non-binary genders.
Does [insert gender here] count as non-binary?
What's the difference between non-binary and genderqueer?
- Anyone whose gender is not strictly male or female.
- Anyone who has a non-normative (queer) experience with gender. Which can include:
- Anyone whose gender is not strictly male or female.
- Anyone who is gender non-conforming.
The two are often used interchangeably to refer to someone whose gender is not strictly male or female. However genderqueer can also, sometimes, be used for gender non-conforming binary men and women. This definition of genderqueer is not as common in the modern day but can still be used. Remember that genderqueer is an older term, so the precise distinctions between orientation, gender, and gender presentation that we often use today were not present at the time it was created.
What's the difference between bigender and androgyne?
I think this is best explained with an example. See the image for the visual example.
In this example I have used a simplified gender spectrum with male or masculine on one side and female or feminine on the other side. Individual A has a single androgynous gender. This gender is somewhere in between male and female, but is not one or the other. This individual is androgyne but is not bigender, because they only experience a single gender.
Individual B experiences two distinct and separate genders. One gender is male, the other gender is female. This individual is bigender and androgyne.
Individual C experiences two distinct and separate genders. One gender is male, the other gender is something outside the male/masculine-female/feminine gender spectrum (possibly neutrois, or another abinary gender). This individual is bigender but is not androgyne, because they're genders are not simultaneously masculine and feminine.
As someone with [insert disorder/neurodivergency here], [insert neurogender here] offends me.
Neurogenders are not [insert disorder here] as a gender. It is a gender affected by said disorder/neurodivergency, or only able to be understood in the context of neurodivergency.
Not everybody with a neurodivergency identifies with a neurogender. Just because one has [insert disorder/neurodivergence here] does not mean they are [insert neurogender here], and they are in no way being forced to identify as it.
Neurogenders are used to say that ones experience with [insert disorder here] it affects their gender, or their experience with gender.
It is not "glorifying" or "downplaying" [insert disorder here]. Recognizing that one's gender is affected by something doesn't mean that it's "glorifying" it.
- Autism leads to individuals having trouble with neurotypical social constructs, since gender is a social construct some autistic individuals feel that being autistic influences how they experience gender.
- Someone may feel apathetic about their gender because they have a disorder or neurodivergence that makes them feel apathetic about many things.
- Someone who is unable to define their gender due to mental exhaustion caused by [insert disorder here].
Can you explain xenogenders?
If one asks a man to describe their gender, they might say their gender is something like "blue, strong, and protective". If one asks a woman the same question, they might say their gender is "beautiful, powerful, and nurturing". If one didn't know these individuals' genders, this might sound a bit silly, because a gender can't literally have these qualities. However, we are still able to imagine these genders and associate them with these qualities. Since society has told us what everyone are these seem to make sense to us.
Now, imagine that words like "man", "woman", "masculine", or "feminine" didn't exist. These individuals would still experience those genders, but they wouldn't have convenient words to describe it. This is the what xenogenders are trying to do. Individuals who have xenogenders know what their gender is, but their gender is not based on masculinity, femininity, or similar terms. Their gender does not have a convenient short-hand word, so instead they have to describe the qualities that are associated with their gender or describe it through metaphor. So, just as an example, instead of being "blue, strong, and protective", a gender might be "yellow, bright, and calming".
The only reason why words like masculine or feminine "make sense" to us is because we have been socialized since birth to recognize masculinity and femininity. If you were to actually stop and try to explain exactly what masculinity or femininity is, you'd find that you can only describe them through metaphor and abstract qualities, just like how xenogenders are described.
Where can I find a list of every pronoun set?
There are infinitely many pronoun sets. There are as many pronoun set as there are possible combinations of letters and symbols. There is no way to keep track of them all. Literally anyone can make a pronoun set and there are no “rules” for what that pronoun set can be.
If what you're actually asking for is a comprehensive list of many pronouns sets, then see https://pronoun-provider.tumblr.com/pronouns.
How do I use [insert pronouns set here]?
In English all pronoun sets have five words. They are organized like so: nominative/accusative/pronominal possessive/predicative possessive/reflexive. As an example I will using ae/aer/aer/aers/aerself pronouns. The first pronoun listed is the nominative pronoun. It is used in place of the words he, she, or they.
- He/She/They went to the store.
- Ae went to the store.
- [insert first pronoun here] went to the store.
The second pronoun listed is the accusative pronoun. It is used in place of him, her, or them.
- I met him/her/them today.
- I met aer today.
- I met [insert second pronoun here] today.
The third pronoun listed is the pronominal possessive pronoun. It is used in place of his, her, or their.
- I walked his/her/their dog today.
- I walked aer dog today.
- I walked [insert third pronoun here] dog today.
The fourth pronoun is the predicative possessive. It is used in place of his, hers, or theirs. (Note that this is the pronoun most likely to be dropped when listing pronouns. If someone only lists four pronouns this is likely the one that is missing.)
- If I need a phone my friend will let me borrow his/hers/theirs.
- If I need a phone my friend will let me borrow aers.
- If I need a phone my friend will let me borrow [insert fourth pronoun here].
The last pronoun listed is the reflexive. It is used in place of the words himself, herself, or themself/themselves.
- Alex has to drive himself/herself/themself to school.
- Alex has to drive aerself to school.
- Alex has to drive [insert last pronoun here] to school.
Note that in the case of they/them pronouns some sentences are conjugated in the plural form. (ie: He has eaten. ==> They have eaten.) You should always assume that neopronoun sets are conjugated as singular, unless you are specifically told otherwise. (It would be “ae has eaten” not “ae have eaten”.) Note that this is only for English pronouns.