Demi (orientation)

From LGBTQIA
(Redirected from Demisexual)
Demisexual
Demisexual.png
Orientation: Any
Prefix: Demi-
Main Umbrella: Aliqua
Genders: Any
Attracted To: Individuals one is deeply or emotionally bonded or connected to

Demi is an orientation prefix describing an individual who does not feel attraction for someone until they are closely or deeply emotionally connected or bonded to that someone. The prefix demi- derives from the English word meaning "half".[1]

The emotional bond that is required for demi attraction can be of any emotional attractions, such as platonic, romantic, alterous, and more. Alternatively, the individual may just need to be emotionally close to the target of attraction, have spent a large portion of time with the target, or know a large portion of information about the target's identity.[2][3] Due to these requirements, demi individuals often only develop attraction months or years after first interacting with the target of attraction. This however heavily depends on the individual and environmental circumstances, as some individuals may form emotional bonds within days or weeks.[4][5]

Some individuals may also lose attraction to their target of attraction if their emotional bond or connection is severed.[6]

History

Demisexual was coined by AVEN user sonofzeal on the 9th of February, 2006. It was coined in response to AVEN user Rabger's concept of separating sexual attraction between the attraction for (primary) physical and (secondary) emotional attributes, where demisexual individuals would only develop sexual attraction after an emotional attraction has been established.[7]

Misconceptions

Demisexual is often mistaken for celibacy or sexual abstinence (abstaining from sex for medical, religious, legal, philosophical, moral, or other reasons). However, as demisexual is an orientation, it is an involuntary aspect of one's identity, whereas celibacy and sexual abstinence is a voluntary decision. Demisexual individuals also cannot feel attraction until the certain requirements are met, whereas those practicing celibacy or sexual abstinence may still experience sexual attraction, but choose not to pursue their attraction.[4][8][9]

Some believe demisexual individuals to be merely picky, fussy, or "playing hard to get".[5] These concepts are separated by their reasoning, where a demisexual individual may reject another because they lack attraction, whereas a fastidious individual may reject them because of their (usually) inconsequential faults.[10]

Some believe that demisexual individuals simply have a low libido. Whilst attraction can influence one's libido, libido is also influenced by biological conditions, such as one's lifestyle choices, medications, stress, illnesses, and more. A demisexual may have a low libido, some may have a high libido, and some may fluctuate between high and low, depending on their environment and current health.[11]

Some believe that demisexual individuals will always develop sexual attraction when an emotional bond is formed. However, as with any orientation, the demi orientation is merely a pattern of attraction rather than a set rule, where for example: someone that is straight will not be attracted to everyone of the opposite gender.[5]

Some believe that demisexual individuals do not have sex before their attraction develops, however attraction is not a requirement to want to partake in sex (see also: cupiosexual).[5]

Related Terms

Label Relationship Description Difference
Encephalo- Similar An individual who is only attracted to someone they are mentally or intellectually bonded to. Encephalo requires mental attraction, whereas demi requires emotional attraction.
Fray- Opposite An individual who is only attracted to strangers or those one is not deeply or emotionally connected to. Fray is the opposite of demi.
Koiniko- Similar An individual who is only attracted to someone they are frequently interacting with. Demi does not require frequent interactions.
Sequence- Similar An individual who is only attracted to someone after first experiencing romantic attraction. Demi may require other forms of emotional attraction, other than just romantic.

Orientations

Label Prefix / Suffix Flag Creator(s)
Demiaesthetic Aesthetic [12] Unknown
Demialterous Alterous [13] Unknown
Demiaroace / Demian[14] / Demirose[15] Aroace / Ian / Rose Demiaroace Tokifaenaun.png[16] A_oul, philzaminecraftreal, Tokifaenaun
Demiattraction Attraction Demiattraction.png[17] u/Agreeable-Finish-376
Demiplatonic Platonic Demiplatonic.png[18] Unknown
Demiqueerplatonic Queerplatonic Demiqueerplatonic.png[19] Unknown
Demiromantic Romantic Demiromantic.png[20] Unknown
Demisensual Sensual Demisensual.png[21] Unknown
Demisexual[7] Sexual Demisexual.png[22] Vimopu
Demisocial Social Demisocial.png[23] Possibly MintyTheKitty

Flags and Symbols

The demiattractional flag was created by Tumblr user nebularomantic on the 15th of December, 2018.[24]

The blue stripe demiaroace flag was created by an anonymous wiki user on the 9th of April, 2021.[25] The blue and yellow stripe demiaroace flag was created by flejefriki on the 8th of March, 2020.[26] The demirose flag was created by philzaminecraftreal on the 3rd of July, 2021.[15]

  • Demiattractional (nebularomantic)

    Demiattractional (nebularomantic)

  • Demiaroace (Anonymous)

    Demiaroace (Anonymous)

  • Demiaroace (flejefriki)

    Demiaroace (flejefriki)

  • Demirose (philzaminecraftreal)

    Demirose (philzaminecraftreal)

Resources

  1. ↑ "demi- prefix". Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/demi-. Accessed on 16 Feb, 2024.
  2. ↑ Kitteη χ. "Thought Experiment on "Platonic Orientations"". The AVEN, 24 Aug, 2018, https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/175398-thought-experiment-on-platonic-orientations/.
  3. ↑ "Are there platonic orientations?". The AVEN, The AVEN Members, 29 Jan, 2014, https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/98193-are-there-platonic-orientations/.
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 "What is Demisexuality?". Demisexuality Resource Center, 17 Feb, 2024, https://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/.
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 Cairo. "Being Demisexual: everything you need to know". the demisexual, https://thedemisexual.com/being-demisexual/#When_you_say_emotional_bond_are_you_talking_about_love. Accessed on 17 Feb, 2024.
  6. ↑ "As a demisexual, what have breakups been like for you when you were really in love and emotionally bonded with the person?". ' Quora Members, https://www.quora.com/As-a-demisexual-what-have-breakups-been-like-for-you-when-you-were-really-in-love-and-emotionally-bonded-with-the-person#:~:text=The%20bond%20that%20allowed%20me%20to%20feel%20attracted%20to%20him%20was%20ax%2Dmurdered%20into%20little%20bits.. Accessed on 17 Feb, 2024.
  7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 sonofzeal. "Asexual sex". The AVEN, Rabger, 9 Feb, 2006, https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/14000-asexual-sex/?tab=comments#comment-375635.
  8. ↑ "Purity culture and demisexuality". the demisexual, Cairo, https://thedemisexual.com/purity-culture-and-demisexuality/. Accessed on 17 Feb, 2024.
  9. ↑ "Demisexuality and demiromanticism". Asexuality New Zealand Trust, https://asexualitytrust.org.nz/what-is-asexuality/demisexuality-and-demiromanticism/. Accessed on 17 Feb, 2024.
  10. ↑ Cairo. "Demisexual or Just Picky?". the demisexual, 17 Feb, 2024, https://thedemisexual.com/demisexual-or-just-picky/.
  11. ↑ Kassel, Gabrielle. "Demisexuality Is the Cousin of Asexuality That Includes the Experience of Attraction". well+good, 1 Aug, 2019, https://www.wellandgood.com/what-is-demisexuality/#:~:text=1.%20Have%20I%20been%20experiencing%20these%20feelings%20my%20whole%20life%2C%20or%20does%20it%20feel%20like%20it%20suddenly%20came%20on%3F.
  12. ↑ beyond-mogai-pride-flags. "Anonymous asked: is there a demiaesthetic flag?". Tumblr, 28 Jul, 2018, https://beyond-mogai-pride-flags.tumblr.com/post/176386612395/is-there-a-demiaesthetic-flag.
  13. ↑ pride-color-schemes. "Demialterous:". Tumblr, 1 Jul, 2016, https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/146754436661/demi.
  14. ↑ A_oul. "Demian Flag! (Read Desc)". Reddit, 6 May, 2020, https://www.reddit.com/r/demisexuality/comments/ge8cpd/demian_flag_read_desc/.
  15. ↑ 15.0 15.1 philzaminecraftreal. "demirose !! (sexuality)". Tumblr, 3 Jul, 2021, https://demiromantic-daily.tumblr.com/post/655725655253729280?is_related_post=1.
  16. ↑ Tokifaenaun. "Demian". LGBTQIA+ Wiki, 27 Feb, 2021, https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Demian?direction=next&oldid=36982.
  17. ↑ Agreeable-Finish-376. "Demiattraction flag!". Reddit, 11 Aug, 2022, https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerVexillology/comments/wl851g/demiattraction_flag/.
  18. ↑ pride-color-schemes. "Demiplatonic". Tumblr, 16 Apr, 2017, https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/159626871185/demiplatonic.
  19. ↑ pride-color-schemes. "Demiqueerplatonic". Tumblr, 16 Apr, 2017, https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/159626809615/demiqueerplatonic.
  20. ↑ Pride-Flags. "Demiromantic". DeviantArt, 6 Jul, 2015, https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Demiromantic-544377768.
  21. ↑ pride-color-schemes. "Demisensual". Tumblr, 16 Apr, 2017, https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/159626743805/demisensual.
  22. ↑ "File:Demisexual Flag.jpg". Wikimedia Commons, Vimopu, 22 Apr, 2013, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Demisexual_Flag.jpg.
  23. ↑ FruitySystem. "Demisocial". LGBTQIA+ Wiki, 17 Nov, 2021, https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Demisocial?oldid=180851#cite_note-1.
  24. ↑ variant-archive. "Asked by Anonymous". Tumblr, 15 Dec, 2018, https://variant-archive.tumblr.com/post/181155602562/demiattractional-flag-without-purple-but-with.
  25. ↑ "Demian". LGBTQIA+ Wiki, 9 Apr, 2021, https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Demian?direction=next&oldid=36987.
  26. ↑ flejefriki. "And demi aroace?". Tumblr, 8 Mar, 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20201227181011/https://flejefriki.tumblr.com/post/612048986263650304/gray-aroace-flag.
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